Secrets of a 28 year-old pensioner: An ode to JB.

Before Housemate gets too excited (her initials are also JB), this is not about you. I love you dearly even though you leave tea bags in the sink and lost the key to the post-box. Your achievements are numerous and wonderful but I haven’t dedicated this blog to you. One day, maybe, but not today. Sorry love.

Neither is this blog about Justin Beiber (who I think we can all agree is starting to act like he’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic).

You’ve guessed it. We have reached the exciting episode where I explain why on earth I called my blog Sophie, She Wrote. This one is a bit longer than the others but bear with me, it ends well.

It is pretty simple really. Like any self-respecting single 28 year old living in city centre Manchester – I love a good TV murder mystery. ITV3 is my new go-to channel for all things crime solving. Go on try it! Once you get past all the adverts for river cruises, adjustable chairs and life insurance you will find a plethora of murder mystery goodness. Is it just me or do those river cruises actually look tempting to you? The couple on them seem to be having a lovely time!

I fear I may have lost a few readers already. Ah well.  As we get more acquainted through this little blog of mine I feel it is important that you know the real me.

(Pause for dramatic effect)

I, Dear Reader, am an old lady trapped in a 28 year old professional’s body.

(dum dum duuuuuuuuuuum)

To clarify, when I say professional I mean that my day job is pretty professional – not that I have the body of a professional anyone – well maybe some kind of pie eating champion.

Once, not too long ago, I found myself waiting for my chicken Kiev to cook so passed the time watching Murder She Wrote and crocheting. Apparently Chicken Kievs are old lady food. I disagree but I can see how the rest of it looked pretty ridiculous. I also like Kit Kats (chocolate wafer biscuits popular with the over 75s), I adore a cardigan and I do love a good puzzle book. Always have. Always will.

This is all pretty standard behaviour so far isn’t it?

One thing you may also need to know is that this blog was born out of a dramatic meltdown. This happens quite regularly as Housemate will attest to. I won’t bore you with the full details so here is the general gist:

Where is my life going?”
“Right I need to have a change”
“That’s it I’m going to stop drinking alcohol”
“I’m going to move to the rainforest and start over”
“Maybe in a bit when it isn’t the rainy season”
“Actually I don’t really like camping”
“Maybe I should stay here and write a blog?”
“Yes that’s a good idea – I might have a glass of wine to celebrate my decision”.

I am not too certain about most things in life but I have always known firstly – I hate liquorice (urgh – food of the devil!) and, secondly, that I quite like writing. In fact I blame Enid Blyton for my current obsession with crime drama. I’m not sure if you have read “The Mystery of Tally-Ho Cottage” but if you haven’t, you must. There’s a cracking twist in the end that definitely caught the 7 year old Sophie by surprise and ignited my love of the mystery genre.

I’d love nothing more than to say that when imagining myself as a “writer” I thought instantly of Harper Lee, the Bronte sisters or one of the many other female writers who have written inspirational and everlasting pieces of literature.

That would be far too sensible. This is me you are talking to remember! The girl who flushed her brand new bronzer down the toilet and has holes in her shoes. Who did I think of?

None other than Jessica Fletcher, a fictional writer in her 60s from Cabbot Cove, Maine, who solves crimes whilst promoting her latest novel. Move over Jane Austen, there’s a new literary icon in town!

Why her?!” I hear you cry with astonishment.

Well, Dear Reader, for me, there is no comparison. Columbo gets extra points for only having one eye and Poirot has the best moustache but I bet none of them could multi-task like Jessica “JB” Fletcher. I’m not sure I know what the B stands for but I bet its Bitchin’.

The world of the TV detective is dangerous and deadly and yet JB navigates through the trials and tribulations with ease, in heels and whilst maintaining her dignity. For those at the wedding last week – you will know that I managed none of the above. Cringe!

Our heroine has also had at least two career changes which gives me (misguided) hope that I too could be a crime-solving award-winning author. I think my sister might have to get busy though if I am to have as many “nieces” and “nephews” as JB – is she actually related to everyone??

There you have it, that is where the name comes from. I love ‘Murder, She Wrote’ so much I named my blog after it.

In an effort to bring me and my geriatric ways crashing into the 21st century I have just ordered Castle on DVD. If you haven’t watched it you are missing out. Think Murder, She Wrote only the novelist is Nathan Fillion. He shadows Detective Kate Beckett around New York City. Cue lots of sexual tension and a will-they-won’t-they storyline to rival Ross and Rachel. I’m obsessed. Not just a little bit but a full on You Tube montage-viewing, spoiler-searching super-fan.

Oh God. This may have got out of hand.

What am I doing telling you all this?

To date I haven’t ever asked someone how they met their significant other for them to reply “Well it was so weird, we were talking about Diagnosis Murder and I just knew he was the one“. This doesn’t happen and probably won’t unless I increase my Tinder age range to 90.

Ah well. If you know of any fellow mystery buffs (emphasis on the word “buff”) please send them in my direction. If not don’t worry about it. I will gladly pack up my crochet needle, Kit Kats, and Kievs and move to Cabbot Cove, Maine. Who’s with me?!!

Speak Soon

Soph x

 

(Chuckles knowledgeably to camera. Freeze frame. Theme tune. Roll credits.)

 

Legend!

 

Picture courtesy of https://www.flickr.com/photos/thenicotime

6 thoughts on “Secrets of a 28 year-old pensioner: An ode to JB.

  1. Pingback: I’d like to thank The Academy | Sophie, She Wrote

  2. Pingback: Nathan Fillion’s Twitter is ruining my life | Sophie, She Wrote

  3. Pingback: No Mum, I am not gay (and other things that happened this week) | Sophie, She Wrote

  4. Pingback: Fantastic Mr Fox | Sophie, She Wrote

  5. Pingback: For Auld Lang’s Ayne! | Sophie, She Wrote

  6. Pingback: For Auld Lang Syne! | Sophie, She Wrote

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s