If you had asked me on Friday what my plans were for the bank holiday weekend I would have told you that I didn’t have any.
Then, all of a sudden, I had the best day ever!
This was one of those moments in life when the cosmos aligns and things work out perfectly. I now know how Simon Cowell must have felt when he had the idea for One Direction only without the crap tattoos and 5 part “harmonies”.
If you ever find yourself at a loose end – here’s my step-by-step guide to making the most of a last minute (slightly squiffy) decision:
1. Have very talented friends.
All my friends are talented in their own special way, they speak foreign languages, they can crochet, truly, they are all extraordinary. That said, in order for this particular scenario to work it helps if one of your friends is one half of a world class drum and bass DJ duo Sigma with a recent Number 1 under their belt and a cracking new tune out.
Exhibit A: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAeotgCHL3E
2. Drink too much on Friday
In view of my lack of plans I agreed to go out with the girls from work. Rumour has it I was overheard saying “I’m not going to stay out too late as I want to go to body combat in the morning“. Lies. But at that stage I genuinely had nothing better to do.
4 hours, unknown quantities of wine, and a shot stick or three later I had a cheeky peek on Facebook and saw my very talented friend had some last minute tickets for Leeds Festival…
“hmmm (said my tipsy inner monologue)…this could be interesting. hic.”
3. Say Yes instantly
In a moment of madness whilst on a shot-induced sugar high I messaged an immediate, if not very considered, YES PLEASE.
This is very important. Don’t think it through too much. Thinking through is for boring people. Live the dream. Seize the day. Carpe Diem!
Another shot stick please – let’s go crazy!
4. In hindsight, maybe write it down
Saturday 7:03am – Woke up in a haze with the taste of chilli vodka on my tongue, my contact lenses still in and a vague recollection of making some kind of plan. Will just have a quick nap, I’m sure it wasn’t anything important…
7:06am – Jolted awake by flashback that I had agreed to go to a festival, in a different city, on my own. Not only that but then I had rung my friend a ridiculous number of times trying to convince him that I was definitely the best person to take.
Glanced at phone. Spied text that was simply an emoji of a fox (my surname) and a smiley face.
No time to cringe, will leave self-loathing to later. Have to dash to parents house to pick up bright yellow wellies which seemed a good idea at the time of purchase but now make me look a bit like Paddington Bear.
5. For the journey
Before boarding the train buy a Gin and Tonic in a can (Gin in a Tin!!). I figured there is no point trying to sober up at this stage, may as well just roll with it. Gin and Tonic with Cucumber, mind you. Just how Lady Mary would do it.
When you arrive in Leeds approach a random stranger, tell her your story and make her take the obligatory “look where I am” photo.
*At this stage DJ friend realised I was on my own and promptly invited my friends Sarah and Sean to come too. I can only assume he needed them as moral support for himself and not to act as a human shield between me and any other person he might know.
6. Be Cool
This is the most important rule. By the time you arrive at the festival, (through the artists entrance in a black Mercedes – obv), you will be torn between yelling “I’m with the DJ!” every 2 seconds, and taking all the photos.
“You is cool. You is calm. You is important.”
Repeat until pulse gets back down to normal rhythm.
7. Contemplate career change
I was standing by the side of the stage watching as thousands of festival-goers go crazy for my friend and feeling weirdly proud when I got a tad carried away;
“I could do this for a living. I would be brilliant at this. Look how easy I am making this look.”
Then I ruined the illusion by shrieking like a small child at a glimpse of a famous person.
Handy hint: If you insist on talking to a famous DJ, maybe think of a better opening line than “I like your hat”.
Also when this lady finishes her set, maybe its a good idea to give her 5 minutes instead of immediately following her off the stage and ending up in an awkward conversation in the toilets.
8. All work and no play…
Whilst you may be having the time of your life, for your friend this is just another day in the office. How would you like it if someone came in to your work in the middle of a very important hearing, danced around like a fool, hugged the judge and threw up in the witness box?
Ok it would be pretty awesome but that’s not the point.
For the record – I didn’t do this. I was the epitome of sensibleness. The only thing I threw were shapes maan! (See what I did there)
9. Say thank you
To my friend – a massive thank you for the best day, hopefully your reputation is still intact.
If you ever need a break from the A-List lifestyle I can offer you a backstage tour of the local County Court. You should see how mental it gets when they run out of ink on the colour printer… wow!
If nothing else, this weekend taught me that life really is what you make of it. Dear Reader, you should go out and seize every opportunity you can. My last minute random decision ended up with me having the craziest day of 2014, possibly ever.
To think – I could have been in body combat!
But enough about me; how was your week?