To do List of Sophie Fox aged 29.18

Dearest Reader,

Thank you for all your patience with me yelling at you about the UK Blog Awards.  You’ll be pleased to know that voting has now closed so I cant harass you about it any more.  Feel free to put away your stress balls and voodoo dolls in my image, I will be nice from now on I promise!

I did something very stupid today.  At work we use statistics a lot to calculate people’s life expectancy.  In a moment of sheer madness I decided to put in my own date of birth and see how long I have left to live.

If you ever feel tempted to do this, trust me. Don’t!

Statistically speaking I have 60.9 years left on this earth.  This is the average based on lots of various different numbers that probably only 2 people on the planet can explain.  This doesn’t take into account that I have a higher than average BMI and like the odd sweet sherry on special occasions.  (Yes I am being sarcastic – I love wine!).  Then again it also doesn’t account for Madonna revealing the secret to everlasting youth. Warning – side effects include fake British accent and arms Gollum would be proud of.

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Surely she must know where the Precious is by now!

On one hand I am mortified that I am a third of the way through my life, the other is determined to make the next two thirds count.  I have decided to take stock of the things I have done and make a to-do list of the things I hope to do.  For the sake of your sanity I have limited it to 8 things as you and I both know that you are reading this on the tram or on the toilet and you cant hang around for too long, it’s just unsanitary.

Here goes:

Things I have done:

1. Been to Glastonbury

Words cant express how annoyed I am that I didn’t get tickets this year especially now Lionel Ritchie is confirmed.  I will be spending the next six months doing a rain dance. I don’t care if it seems childish – if I cant go then no one should be able to go!

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It is night and we have sunglasses on. #Glastonbury2009

2. Had a short haircut.

Ah the bob – I loved it but growing it out was the single hardest thing I have ever had to do (yes I know people go to war and have to battle disease, I’m not saying it’s the same I’m just saying it was hard).  Now it is finally at a decent length and what turns out to be the hairdo of the season? Yep – the bob! Well buggar you MarieClaire magazine, I’m not doing it again.

3. Learnt to ski. 

I wasn’t very good at it.  You’d think with my ice-skating abilities I would be a natural but after a year in the Alps the best memory was plummeting down a glacier, ripping a hole in my salopettes and “having” to spend the rest of the day drinking hot wine in a deckchair to save my dignity.

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I find skiing easier when you are sat down at the bar. Shoop shoop!

4. Something else 

I am actually struggled to think of a fourth thing! I haven’t been travelling or scuba diving or walked the Great wall of China.  What the hell have I been doing for the past 29.18 years?? Suggestions on a postcard please.

Things I have yet to do:

1. Learn how to walk in heels.

I fall over. A lot. I maintain that it is because I have been blessed with the cloven hooves of a centaur, but I also feel it may have something to do with drink.  I am at the age now where I take flat shoes out in my bag. Classy no?

2. Learn to speak Italian

Ho cominciato a imparare a parlare italiano quando avevo 15 anni , ma ho rinunciato quando ho capito che era molto difficile e mi sarebbe mancato il mio programma televisivo preferito.

Thank you Google translate.

3. Been to Thailand

Or Bali, or India, or anywhere that you can’t get to on a Ryan Air flight from Manchester airport.  Yes – this is most definitely an invitation for you to take me on holiday.  I do have some ground rules though, namely that you must not be a serial killer (or any kind of killer really – just once is too many), you mustn’t be thinner, funnier or prettier than I am (this applies to both sexes), and you must be the type of person who keeps aftersun in the fridge – I have the pale Irish skin of Michael Flatley before he discovered Fake Bake.

I look forward to hearing from you.

He can be seen from space. I've heard.

He can be seen from space. I’ve heard.

4. Lost too much weight

I know this is awful but one day I do dream of the time people will say to me…”Oh Sophie, I think you’re looking too thin! you really must eat something!”

I would then buy yoga pants for yoga and not just for sitting around in because my jeans are too tight.  I would perfect my abs selfie and finally work out what Instagram means.  People that I used to know would search for me on Facebook and say things like “Oh god she looks weird” and “she doesn’t really have a pretty face“.  Ah the dream!

I understand that in order for this to happen I may have to go to the gym more than once a fortnight and stop drinking wine.

err…

hang on…

Sod it I have 60.9 more years to think about that – I’m off for a pizza and a glass of prosecco!

Speak soon

Soph x

10 thoughts on “To do List of Sophie Fox aged 29.18

  1. Oh God, I’m going to be 29 in 2 months. This post had me thinking about what I would put in a list of things I have done. Let’s just say it’s not a very long list at all!

    And people actually buy yoga pants to do yoga? I thought the whole point of yoga pants were so you can comfortably do nothing all day.

    Like

  2. Pingback: Why is the Nativity like the Great British Bake Off? | Sophie, She Wrote

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