Happy New Year!!
I know, I know, it is practically February. My sincerest apollos (again) for the lack of post so far this year. I’m not very good at New Year’s Resolutions – clearly.
As much as I tried to muster up some enthusiasm for life last Friday I simply couldn’t. I’m sure you agree Dear Reader, that nothing can smack the Christmassy out of you like the first week back at work after the New Year. Well, that and the vague sensation that you ended up in Chinese Karaoke after the Christmas do.
Prior to breaking up for Christmas I had prepared a To Do List for when I got back so I would have some kind of plan. I was hoping to win the lottery over the break and this was a task list for the poor sod who would take over from me. Call me crazy, but I wouldn’t be able to relax on my own private island, being serenaded by BoysIIMen if my work wasn’t in order.
I’m selfless like that.
Turns out, I didn’t win the lottery. Ah well, I didn’t get a boyfriend either but I’m not going to cry about it (sob).
What I did do may surprise you.
I know that I don’t really share many pictures of myself on here but I have probably given you the impression that I am not the sveltest of ladies. Don’t get me wrong I’m not one of those faceless fat people they use on TV when they are talking about obesity, but I wouldn’t go entering myself in Miss Universe anytime soon.
I have, however, decided that this year 2015, being the year I turn 30 *gulp*, is the year that I am finally going to get my house in order. When I say my house I clearly mean my weight. I have no immediate plans to move out of the welcoming bosom that is my parents’ home anytime soon. Sorry Dad.
I used to be an athlete.
Ok, alright, you can stop laughing now. I’m being serious.
I was a really good figure skater. Lycra and everything. For the month or so that there is an ice-rink in Manchester city centre I am the most irritating person in the office. I am probably the most irritating person in the office on most days to be fair,but particularly so around this time of year.
I miss skating a lot but have been a bit too afraid to go back. Being able to say that I used to be really good at skating is a lot nicer than realising that I am not very good at it anymore.
Not only was I nervous about going back in case I was rubbish at it but I weigh more than I did when I was 18 and my metabolism moves slower than Paris Hilton attempting long division. Then, over the break, I received a message from my old coach asking if I fancied going in.
So there I was, Monday night, skates on.
Oh. My. Days.
I went round once and nearly passed out! Those 7 times I went spinning in 2014 clearly hadn’t done anything for my stamina.
I am two weeks into “training” and I am having a whale of a time. I still have the lung capacity of an emphasaemic goldfish but I think I am getting better at it. The idea is to do the British Adult Championships in June but I have a heck of a long way to go before then. I’ve been to the gym though – awoo. Yes I forgot the access code and had to admit that I hadn’t been since September, but still.
I have decided to be more focussed and generally optimistic this year. To aid me in this quest I have been searching for motivation and came across this article about a man who changed his password to his ex’s name to help him get over her. As he had to type it into his computer multiple times per day eventually it worked.
I tried this and things were going well.
Until this morning.
When IT ask to log into your computer and your password is your goal weight and your desktop background is a motivational quote from Ab Fab, you make this facial expression:
Embarrassment aside – I am going to do more exercise. I’m not going to do a crash diet or anything, mainly because most of them involve giving up wine and I have two birthdays and a trip to the Lion King coming up. I just know I wont be able to cope with Mufasa’s death without at least one gin and slim. (Sorry – SPOILER ALERT)
Instead I have vowed to make better choices. I went to Pizza Express last night and had a salad! And not one of those “looks like a salad but comes with bread and has more calories than a pizza” salads that I adore. An actual salad.
I did perv on the American Hot at the table next to me for a while.
His pizza didn’t look too bad either – ba dum dum chhhh!
On that hilarious note, I bid you adieu Dear Reader. For it is pay day today and we are out to welcome new starters into the department. I am not going to stay out too late as I have a 30th birthday tomorrow and I need to be fresh lest my future husband should be in attendance.
Then again, the last time I went to Revolution on a Friday I ended up at Leeds Festival so who knows what will happen!
I hope you all have a fabulous weekend. If you hear me say “I don’t even feel that drunk” later this evening, please feel free to slap me with a cocktail shaker and send me home to my mother.