Shut up Soph!

Evening! Sorry I apologise for my freshness.  I’ve not been in work today.

Oy! stop pelting fruit at me, its not my fault!

No, my Sibling who I personally think is the best Sibling ever, bought me tickets to see The Lion King at the Palace last night.   I had the foresight to book the day off.

Thanks! I know I’m a genius.

Hang on – MENSA is on the phone.

“hmmm…yeah…oh, I see….sorry….”

Ok, I’m not a “genius” but screw it Im not the one who has been in work today – you are!

Me after my experiment with heated rollers

Me after my experiment with heated rollers

Last time we spoke I told you I had a 30th birthday. Well, that went well.

I feel I need to use this weird platform I have to defend myself.  Ok, its not so much a platform as a used carton of vimto but screw you.

Basically last week, I had an wonderful time celebrating my friend Jonnny’s 30th birthday.  Along the way I feel I may have upset some people, mainly because I don’t think I stopped talking for 24 hours.  I also made some questionable music choices.

Saying that as I am typing this I’m listening to Seal ” Never gonna survive”.  TUUUUUNNNEEEE!!

I feel I need to tell you Dear Reader, that I am fully aware how annoying I am.  If I was trapped in a room with me I…well I would never let that happen.

I’m an idiot.  I chat too much, I have an unfortunate/brilliant taste in music depending on how you feel about the Outhere Brothers, and I can get very over excited, particularly at large gatherings with people I don’t know very well.

I may have taken this a tad too far in that my dentist today, who I adore btw, told me that the reason my jaw clicks is probably either because I’m tired and stressed (see I told you he was lovely) or, I probably open my mouth a bit too much.

I’m not sure which one it is.

Anyway in order to combat both things I have today been fitted for a mouth guard.  Fellas I’m not sure you will be able to control yourselves around me quite as well as you all seem to be able to at the moment.   I only have to wear it at night, which is good as no one ever sees me then. Ever.


If you need a reason why Nemo ran away

You know when they say someone is a triple threat, I used to think that was because they could act, sing and dance.  Now I think it is because they have a high BMI, weird feet, and a mouthguard.

Well this girl is now a triple threat! Just me and Beyonce.

You would think that my overwhelming success at the 30th last weekend would put me off but tonight I am heading to Leeds for my fabulous friend Sarah’s birthday.  She is so grown up.

I plan to be in my onesie within 7 seconds of being on the front door. But that is just me.

Onesie. Mouth guard. See I told you you wouldn’t be able to resist!

The festivities continue tomorrow when we will be going for an uplifting stroll amongst the Yorkshire Dales before applying a tube full of fake tan and painting the town red.

I’m not holding out too much hope that I will meet the man of my dreams this weekend but I am very excited about the pulled pork Sarah has prepared in her very own smoker and I think that meat is a safer bet than men any day of the week.  Especially Sarah’s meat.  She actually buys all her food from a  farm.  Before I lived with my mum and dad and I was living in the flat most of my food was out of the bin!

Sarah and Sean, except Sarah is Black and Sean...well Sean looks a bit like this guy.

Sarah and Sean, except Sarah is black and Sean…well Sean looks a bit like this guy.

This post is a bit shorter than normal as I am supposed to be picking Becky up in 20 minutes and I am nowhere near ready.

Becky, if you are reading this. I promise I have left.  Somehow I got trapped in You Tube and ended up spending most of my day watching videos of cats falling down.

My day was brightened up by a lovely lunch with the Best Baby in the West and his mum Lauren.

When I said before that I thought I was an idiot – it is actually true.  I managed to buy the best and also the worst thing that was ever invented. It is a baby grow that also doubles as a mop.  It’s a Baby Mop!

If that doesn’t make me his third favourite person in the world I don’t know what will.  No doubt he will grow up to resent me and I can then humiliate him in front of his friends on his 18th birthday! mwahahaha!

This isn't Harry. Harry is 100% cooler than this baby.

This isn’t Harry. Harry is 100% cooler than this baby.

Right now I really have to go. I have less than 15 minutes.

Becky – sorry I am late.

Sarah – save me some pork.

Harry – I promise not to always be this annoying. I hope you all have a splendid weekend.

If you are feeling a bit blue, glum and depressed, just think of me in my mouth guard and remember that no matter how bad life gets – it could always be worse!

Speak Soon (unless I get my jaw wired shut)

Soph x

2 thoughts on “Shut up Soph!

  1. Ok, you do not sound annoying at all. You sound like a human puppy! Seriously, who doesn’t love a puppy? I promise you none of this is sarcastic. (I realise by writing that I made this whole thing seem more sarcastic than it did in the first place, but I’m stuck between a rock and a patch of difficulty here, so you’re gonna have to help me out!)

    Liked by 1 person

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