The Biggest Loser

Dear loveliest Reader

I come bearing sad news.

I didn’t win at the UK Blog Awards.

I took it quite well though…

Me at UKBA15

Me at UKBA15

Its okay, don’t be too upset I had an amazing time.  In typical Sophie fashion I left it far far too late to get the train and ended up running like an eejit to Piccadilly train station.  It didn’t help that I was a smidgen hungover after a night out with Housemate the night before.  She’s gone and got all sensible though and made us come home at 2am.

Now that I write it I see she may have had a point.

I launched myself onto the train with about a second to spare. The couple across from me were glaring at me.  They clearly didn’t anticipate being sat next to a sweaty, slightly plump woman stinking of cheap wine masked by Marc Jacobs perfume that may have been left in direct sunlight for too long and now smells like acid.

these were their exact expressions, only they were about 80 years older than these guys

These were their exact expressions, only about 80 years older

Just before they said anything a baby started screaming, taking the heat off me – thanks kid!  I wasn’t so thankful later on when he and his 8, yes that’s 8, siblings were running around the train like wild animals.  I’m all for having a big family but what is the point of having 9 children if you don’t keep them in line with a military whistle and teach them to sing like the Von-Trapps?! In the two hours on the train they could have at least learnt the chords to Edelweis which would have worked wonders on my hangover.

I huffed so much even the old lady thought I was being unreasonable but I don’t think it’s too much to ask…

“Now arriving at Milton Keynes – tada!”

I’d say my hangover kicked in somewhere around Stockport and it took me to about then to get my breath back (I’m an athlete now don’t you know). I decided to get a coffee and a water and it was a horrendous experience. There is something about walking on a plane or train that makes me feel violently ill. I kept bashing into people.

Also slightly embarrassingly I pulled my headphones out of my laptop before stopping iTunes.  Luckily for me Muse Knights of Cydonia was playing which is kind of cool, and also weird because 86% of my iTunes is Tina Turner Greatest Hits.

I wish I was joking.
There are actually too many to fit on one screen shot.  I don't know why this happened.

There are actually too many to fit on one screen shot. I don’t know how this happened.

When I arrived in London after nearly throttling the Non-Trapps (see what I did there), I finally met my friend Danielle.  We lived together in France and hasn’t seen each other since 2012. We did the whole running towards each other crying thing that is really only appropriate at the end of Love Actually or where war veterans surprise family members.

After getting back to hers, having a celerity glass of prosecco we headed backing London for the UK Blog Awards.  Being the classy girls we are we simply had to take some bubbles on the train.  Apologies in advance for using ALL the filters on these photos!

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Walking through Charing Cross Station in full on ball gown clutching a bottle of Prosecco we looked a little odd.  We headed to the Montcalm Hotel which was pretty posh and were greeted by The Mad Hatter, who managed to tread the fine line between lovely and absolutely terrifying.

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Inside there was a giant cat on the wall – again lovely yet terrifying.  We were treated to cocktails (not that we needed any more by this stage) and some nibbles.  It was fab.

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Then the awards were read out – I was deciding whether or not to pull a Kanye West and launch myself on the stage declaring myself the winner but I chose not to.  Not because it wouldn’t have been the truth (jokes) but because I had hemmed myself into a seat in the middle of the row and it was difficult enough to get to the bar never mind on the stage!

Plus we were too busy doing things like this:

No idea where everyone else was at this stage!

No idea where everyone else was at this stage!

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To even it out here is us when trying to be a bit sensible:

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Huge thank you to everyone who voted for me – we may not have won but if alcohol consumption was a sport we would definitely have been on the podium.

Speaking of podiums I couldn’t resist having a go and did this:
Note the empty wine glass

Note the empty wine glass

Mature Soph.

Keeping with the theme we barely made it to our last train home.  Fortunately for us the goody bags contained some BUPA bottles.  They make great water bottles for if you are going on a casual run but – handy hint – you can also fill them with wine and drink on the train on the way home!

Not exactly what those bottles were meant for!

Not exactly what those bottles were meant for!

The rest of the weekend passed by in a haze of hangovers.  I had the best time ever! Needless to say when I got on the ice on Monday morning it wasn’t the most productive I have ever been.

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In a desperate attempt to shoehorn myself into a dress, I have slightly overdone it on the exercise front, about 6 gym classes and an 11 mile sponsored walk later I am a shell of a human being.  My feet are blistered, may arms ache and I think I have given myself a stress fracture.  Still fat though so at least thats not changed.
I did an 11 mile ramble for charity this week! I’m not one for participating in sporting activities but it was for a great cause and you can still donate.  It was a really good day, spoilt only by the fact that they didn’t start it by shouting “LETS GET READY TO RAMMMBLE!!!” which was a wasted opportunity in my book.
Look at us rambling away!

Look at us rambling away!

So much has happened in these past couple of weeks its hard to fit it in and you must be coming to the end of your toilet trip by now so I’ll be brief.

The other things that happened are fairly inconsequential, General Election, Royal Baby, blah blah blah.  I suppose the biggest news  is that I taught myself the words to Ice Ice Baby and the cup song from Pitch Perfect.  For those that don’t know it goes like this: and yes I will be bringing plastic cups everywhere with me on the off chance that I get asked to perform.

You’re welcome in anticipation.

Speak Soon

Soph x

5 thoughts on “The Biggest Loser

  1. I’m so sorry you didn’t win, hon (the judges are obviously not right in the head) but it looks like you had a great time regardless! You’ll get ’em next time, I am 110% sure of it!
    P.S. I will need you to teach me the Cup song (with cups) at some point. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: It’s Friday – Make Good Choices People! | Sophie, She Wrote

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