Hi there stranger!
Yes I’m starting another post with another apology but sod it , we both know you’re going to carry on reading so let’s just bypass the fact I haven’t written anything since June and move on with our lives.
I can’t decide if that hippo is cute or pervy but either way, I hope you are well.
Dear loveliest Reader
I come bearing sad news.
I didn’t win at the UK Blog Awards.
I took it quite well though…
Me at UKBA15
Hi there Dear Reader,
How’s it going?
mm hmm, really? wow! Thanks for the update.
If you can’t already tell by the previous sentence I may have gone a little mad.
Turns out I am not very good at multitasking, which is not ideal when I am combining a pretty stressful day job, ice-skating training (yes this is still happening), writing this little bubble of joy AND now writing for Time Out. You’d think I’d be so busy I wouldn’t have time to eat but somehow I have managed to maintain my cuddly exterior.
Sod’s blimmin law.
Hey there Dear Reader!
Something pretty great has happened to me this week and, just in case you were too distracted by Madonna taking a tumble, I will repeat it for you now.
I am officially a guest blogger for Time Out Manchester!!
I’ll give you a second to let this sink in. Continue reading
Happy New Year!!
I know, I know, it is practically February. My sincerest apollos (again) for the lack of post so far this year. I’m not very good at New Year’s Resolutions – clearly.
You have no idea of the strategic placing of friends it took to get this picture!
As much as I tried to muster up some enthusiasm for life last Friday I simply couldn’t. I’m sure you agree Dear Reader, that nothing can smack the Christmassy out of you like the first week back at work after the New Year. Well, that and the vague sensation that you ended up in Chinese Karaoke after the Christmas do. Continue reading
Thank you for all your patience with me yelling at you about the UK Blog Awards. You’ll be pleased to know that voting has now closed so I cant harass you about it any more. Feel free to put away your stress balls and voodoo dolls in my image, I will be nice from now on I promise!
I did something very stupid today. At work we use statistics a lot to calculate people’s life expectancy. In a moment of sheer madness I decided to put in my own date of birth and see how long I have left to live.
If you ever feel tempted to do this, trust me. Don’t!
This is a post I wrote as a submission for a book called People I want To Punch In the Throat. It didn’t quite make the cut. In hindsight this was probably because the brief asked for advice letters to your children as they leave home and, as we already know, the closest thing I have to a child is my Apple Mac, and I’ve just moved back home.
I should not be giving advice to anyone. Ever.
I never used it in the first place!
This is a letter I wrote to my 18 year old self giving myself advice about uni and what life had in store. It’s definitely is as narcissistic as it sounds but you can cope.
Anyway, seen as it isn’t going to make it to something people actually buy, I figured I’d unleash it on you lovely folk for free. No need to thank me. Your tears of despair are enough.
Also if you went to school or uni with me you may be in this.
“I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman. But I have the heart and stomach of a concrete elephant.” (Queenie, Blackadder II)
We meet again Dear Reader!
Frankly I’m surprised you haven’t unfollowed, defriended or indeed defenestrated me yet (google it) after all the begging for votes I’ve been doing recently.
I am super sorry about that but I have become quite desperate (no jokes please). You see, I would very much like to win something in 2015, I think it may be my year. Well that and my Slimmer of the Year 2014 campaign isn’t going according to plan.
*reaches for donut*