7 Ways To Handle An Internet Troll

This is me on Thought Catalog again! Click here for original

Thought Catalog

troll

Having recently started a blog, I am now the proud owner of my very own troll. This is both a source of pain and a source of pride. First, I am glad he has noticed little old me amid the 644 million active websites that make up the Internet; second, it intrigues me because I am not sure exactly what the devil he was trying to accomplish. Does he want us to be friends? Does he want me to stop writing? It’s so confusing! Tell me, troll—what do you want from me?

I have been thinking long and hard about what to do in this situation and have come up with the following handy guide should you ever need it.

Disclaimer: However you decide to handle your troll, it is up to you. Make sure you use the appropriate safety equipment, and remember—they may bite when aroused.

1. Ignore them.

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Noodle-gate Part 2 – The Results!

Do you ever do something just for the hell of it and because you think maybe, possibly, someone, somewhere will find it funny?

And then they don’t.

This is what I panicked about after sending my complaint to Waitrose.  Oh God, what if they think I am a moron?  What if I don’t even get a response? What if they tell Delia Smith and I am banned for life from every Waitrose ever? Continue reading

Thought Catalog (and my issues with American spelling)

Hi there,

It has come to my attention that the link to my Thought Catalog blog hasn’t been working.  Seen as this is the one piece of writing that people other than my Facebook friends have seen I feel it is important to share the link again.

If you would like to read more about “The 21 things you should do before you move back in with your parents” please click here.

Also, before you say anything, yes it bugs me that Thought Catalog isn’t spelled properly (it’s “Catalogue” people!) but it is an American website so I guess we’ll have to let them off.  See also the tag for “Humor” below.  Those guys really don’t like the letter “u”.

Have a nice day x

21 Things You Need To Do Before Moving Back In With Your Parents

This is me on Thought Catalog! Can’t flipping believe they liked my piece. Please read and share.
Also – please note this is a list of what people should do, not a confession of what I have done (in case my dad sees it)!  If the full link doesn’t work click here

 

Thought Catalog

Screen shot 2014-06-24 at 5.48.52 PMBridesmaids

Are you aged 26 to 35?

Do you rent an apartment in a city with a housemate?

Can you always find money for wine but have not yet paid the electricity bill?

Congratulations! Your life sounds awesome!

If, like me, you have made the drastic decision to get your shit together, you may have realised that the only way this is possible is to take the unenviable step and move back in with your parents.

This may be the worst decision we have ever made. Fortunately for you, I have come up with 21 things every Boomerang child needs to do before returning to the nest. Caveat – this list may have a negative overall effect on your life, but at least it will make your last few months of freedom bloody good fun!

1. Have a one-night stand

Be safe but don’t be sorry!

2. Spend a lot…

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Secrets of a 28 year-old pensioner: An ode to JB.

Before Housemate gets too excited (her initials are also JB), this is not about you. I love you dearly even though you leave tea bags in the sink and lost the key to the post-box. Your achievements are numerous and wonderful but I haven’t dedicated this blog to you. One day, maybe, but not today. Sorry love.

Neither is this blog about Justin Beiber (who I think we can all agree is starting to act like he’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic).

You’ve guessed it. We have reached the exciting episode where I explain why on earth I called my blog Sophie, She Wrote. This one is a bit longer than the others but bear with me, it ends well.

Continue reading