Just Sophie

Hi guys

My first instinct here is to apologise but I am trying a new thing where I stop apologising to people so…er…hi again.

There are several reasons why it has been a very long time since I wrote a post, the main one being that as I have got older I have become less confident and I was fearful of you lot judging me.  Now, however, I know that you’ve probably scrolled past this in between lots of baby pictures, so thanks! Not that I hate babies but I might not feel better about myself knowing little Tammy has now sprouted a tooth.  Now if Tammy’s mum would post about the fact she gets nipple thrush and couldn’t get a decent nights sleep if she paid for it, I would feel less like an inadequate human woman but such is life.

I am not okay.

That sounds depressing to type and I am sure it looks weird to read but the ability to tell someone, anyone, that I am not okay is the most liberating thing I have ever done. I mean had it been the sixties I’d have burned my bra but then knowing me I’d have knocked myself out jumping up and down in celebration.  Thanks for the boobs Sandy!

The pressure to be and to feel “fine” is so destructive that I will take one for the team and tell you straight off the bat.

I am not fine.

There are various reasons why I hate 2017 and everything that has happened in it but it frankly doesn’t matter why I feel the way that I do, the important thing is that I have  right to feel shit and sometimes, no matter how much I try not to. I just feel shit.

I could reel off a list of reasons why, when I am down I feel awful, but it doesn’t matter. You probably have had worse, or not.  The funny thing is , once you tell people you have depression, there’s is weird time where you have to justify your diagnosis by relaying of a list of “terrible” things that have happened.  In reality had I compared my list to the fact there are children dying in Africa, no it isn’t that bad.  Ok so one time I couldn’t face anyone so my sister had to drive me to M&S in Handforth Dean for a latte. Oooh. It was a big deal but I don’t see Bob Geldof chatting about that any time soon. Also – it is possible to have depression and still be happy.  Sounds weird I know. Just because I feel a bit crap doesn’t mean I won’t find you walking into a lamppost funny.  Laughter and depression are not mutually exclusive.

p.s. M&S in Handforth Dean is lovely – please don’t go there though because I go there to avoid people and you’ll ruin it.

Sometimes I cry on the tram

This is for the wonderful commuters that I share 3 hours of my life with every day. Sometimes I cry on the tram. Soz. FYI if I also have a bottle of sugar free Vimto on me I’m probably just hungover.

At this point there is a woman who I need to thank. I had some bad news a few weeks back and like any sensible adult (buying antidepressants in Sainos) I just collapsed. This woman, I have no idea who she was, sat with me during a pretty shit 20 minutes and I never even asked her name.  If you were the one that sat next to me outside Spoons while I wailed like a banshee.

Thank you.

As bad as it got before I faced the fact that I was not ok, the kindness I have seen from my friends, family and just general strangers makes me wish I had told someone much much earlier.

My friends and family are the best.

I can hear you saying to yourself that that is not true, that your mates are the best but I will stop you right there. You are wrong.

The bunch of weirdos that I have the privilege to call my friends are in fact the best thing that has ever walked the planet. End of. Equal parts ridiculous and astonishing, their support for me and for each other has been magnificent.  I should not have left it as long as I did before I told them  how I felt. They probably wish I had, but the beauty of friendship is that they are now stuck with me and I will never keep anything from them. They say knowledge is power and I agree.  If your friends know what you are going through, they will and can help.

There isn’t really a point to this post apart from to tell you that I have anxiety and depression and I am very proud of myself for being able to say that.

If I see you in M&S Handforth Dean I will know that either you haven’t read this or you did and went anyway.

Balls in your court.

Soph x

 

p.s. If you are or have been struggling with anything I can’t tell you how important it is to realise that others are going through the same.  Elefriends by Mind is a chat group where people can talk openly about how they feel, the Samaritans are lovely and you can even email them.   Please don’t suffer in silence.

Unless you are in M&S in Handforth Dean, in which case don’t speak to me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 Ways To Handle An Internet Troll

This is me on Thought Catalog again! Click here for original

Thought Catalog

troll

Having recently started a blog, I am now the proud owner of my very own troll. This is both a source of pain and a source of pride. First, I am glad he has noticed little old me amid the 644 million active websites that make up the Internet; second, it intrigues me because I am not sure exactly what the devil he was trying to accomplish. Does he want us to be friends? Does he want me to stop writing? It’s so confusing! Tell me, troll—what do you want from me?

I have been thinking long and hard about what to do in this situation and have come up with the following handy guide should you ever need it.

Disclaimer: However you decide to handle your troll, it is up to you. Make sure you use the appropriate safety equipment, and remember—they may bite when aroused.

1. Ignore them.

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Noodle-gate Part 2 – The Results!

Do you ever do something just for the hell of it and because you think maybe, possibly, someone, somewhere will find it funny?

And then they don’t.

This is what I panicked about after sending my complaint to Waitrose.  Oh God, what if they think I am a moron?  What if I don’t even get a response? What if they tell Delia Smith and I am banned for life from every Waitrose ever? Continue reading

Thought Catalog (and my issues with American spelling)

Hi there,

It has come to my attention that the link to my Thought Catalog blog hasn’t been working.  Seen as this is the one piece of writing that people other than my Facebook friends have seen I feel it is important to share the link again.

If you would like to read more about “The 21 things you should do before you move back in with your parents” please click here.

Also, before you say anything, yes it bugs me that Thought Catalog isn’t spelled properly (it’s “Catalogue” people!) but it is an American website so I guess we’ll have to let them off.  See also the tag for “Humor” below.  Those guys really don’t like the letter “u”.

Have a nice day x

21 Things You Need To Do Before Moving Back In With Your Parents

This is me on Thought Catalog! Can’t flipping believe they liked my piece. Please read and share.
Also – please note this is a list of what people should do, not a confession of what I have done (in case my dad sees it)!  If the full link doesn’t work click here

 

Thought Catalog

Screen shot 2014-06-24 at 5.48.52 PMBridesmaids

Are you aged 26 to 35?

Do you rent an apartment in a city with a housemate?

Can you always find money for wine but have not yet paid the electricity bill?

Congratulations! Your life sounds awesome!

If, like me, you have made the drastic decision to get your shit together, you may have realised that the only way this is possible is to take the unenviable step and move back in with your parents.

This may be the worst decision we have ever made. Fortunately for you, I have come up with 21 things every Boomerang child needs to do before returning to the nest. Caveat – this list may have a negative overall effect on your life, but at least it will make your last few months of freedom bloody good fun!

1. Have a one-night stand

Be safe but don’t be sorry!

2. Spend a lot…

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Secrets of a 28 year-old pensioner: An ode to JB.

Before Housemate gets too excited (her initials are also JB), this is not about you. I love you dearly even though you leave tea bags in the sink and lost the key to the post-box. Your achievements are numerous and wonderful but I haven’t dedicated this blog to you. One day, maybe, but not today. Sorry love.

Neither is this blog about Justin Beiber (who I think we can all agree is starting to act like he’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic).

You’ve guessed it. We have reached the exciting episode where I explain why on earth I called my blog Sophie, She Wrote. This one is a bit longer than the others but bear with me, it ends well.

Continue reading