Hi there stranger!
Yes I’m starting another post with another apology but sod it , we both know you’re going to carry on reading so let’s just bypass the fact I haven’t written anything since June and move on with our lives.
I can’t decide if that hippo is cute or pervy but either way, I hope you are well.
Now I know it is uncharacteristically sunny for the UK at the moment so I will forgive you if you cant be bothered reading this or you are too distracted by the stench of human sweat on public transport that you will tell me you read it but haven’t. It’s fine. It’s very hot.
Standard public transport this week.
I know you probably don’t care but I am now a fully committed member of Weight Watchers.
Afternoon lovely person!
I know you are probably on the edge of your seat wanting to know how I got on at the British Ice Skating Championships..
*dramatic music and tension building drum roll
I only came blimmin first!!!!
Me in my office on Monday
Apologies to those of you who are friends with me on Facebook or who work with me, or who have ever met my parents, you probably know all about this by now. But for those very few of you who don’t – no I am not drunk or joking. I actually won!!
Well helloo there Dear Reader!
It has been somewhat of a while (again) since we last spoke. How’ve you been?
Ooh sounds painful.
Me? How nice of you to ask. I’ve been pretty good actually (aside from the obvious insanity of writing an imaginary conversation – see above) Continue reading
Dear loveliest Reader
I come bearing sad news.
I didn’t win at the UK Blog Awards.
I took it quite well though…
Me at UKBA15
Hola Queridio! Apologies to all my Spanish fans (?) for my poor grasp of your beautiful language but no hablo español. Once again, as happens about every 6-8 weeks, I must apologise for the lack of posts recently. In fact it has been two weeks since I last updated you on the car crash that is my life. I have no excuse why I didn’t post on 27th March. I think I was feeling a bit uninspired. I had managed to achieve the incredible feat of blocking myself out of my debit card AND then blocking myself out of the unblocking debit card facility at the cash machine. I also bought a book called How To Get A Grip – if that is any indication of how I was feeling. (A must read btw)
This is the only kind of grip I will ever probably get. Well done to whoever invented this!
I am too cool.
Hello Dear Reader,
I’m glad you have managed to overcome all the eclipse related excitement to stop by Sophie, She Wrote.
Today is an anniversary of sorts. This time last year I sat down to watch Murder She Wrote and realised I had already seen it.
That kind of thing shouldn’t happen when you are 28 and it made me have a quiet word with myself. I decided there and then that I needed to be doing something more productive with my life and I immediately marched outside shouted “Hello World!” and began to pursue my dreams. Continue reading
Afternoon Dear Reader,
No, that was not a spelling mistake. I really did mean to say Bollards. Little, insignificant yet made of solid blimmin steel blimmin bollards to be precise.