Hi there its Sophie Fox, Marathon Runner here.
Yes I know – I am very annoying but ‘tis true, I ran a marathon! I finished in 4 hours 42 minutes and 8 seconds (the seconds are very important apparently). The more I think about it the more frustrating it is that I didn’t manage it in less than 4 hours 30 but just typing that sentence makes me hate myself a little bit. Continue reading
Sweet child of mine what am I doing?
It is here, the big day, the day I Sophie Fox, who once ate a kebab I found in a drawer, is running a marathon. Continue reading
Afternoon lovely person!
I know you are probably on the edge of your seat wanting to know how I got on at the British Ice Skating Championships..
*dramatic music and tension building drum roll
I only came blimmin first!!!!
Me in my office on Monday
Apologies to those of you who are friends with me on Facebook or who work with me, or who have ever met my parents, you probably know all about this by now. But for those very few of you who don’t – no I am not drunk or joking. I actually won!!
Afternoon Dear Reader,
No, that was not a spelling mistake. I really did mean to say Bollards. Little, insignificant yet made of solid blimmin steel blimmin bollards to be precise.
INT. A SITTING ROOM, TWO CHILDREN ARE SAT ON THE SOFA LOOKING INCREDIBLY BORED AND RUEING THE DAY THEY WERE BORN. (Much like you are right about now)
I will not continue this in script format mainly because I don’t know how to. I am, however, attending a script writing course tomorrow so you have that to look forward to next week.
All you need to know is that this is a continuation of Episode 1. I have been reading a lot of autobiographies recently (see pictures – links here). They all start with the same few chapters where the comedian/author/Nobel Peace Prize winner is living in some kind of loft struggling to make ends meet. No matter how tough the journey, the reader is safe in the knowledge that it all ends well and the person does achieve something otherwise they wouldn’t have written the book in the first place.
With the confidence and stupidity possessed only by myself and Katie Price, I have decided to write my autobiography before I actually achieve anything in the desperate hope that by the time I write the ending something fabulous will have happened. I only hope it doesn’t involve Celebrity Big Brother, plastic surgery or a bright pink horse trailer but you never know.
I am genuinely impressed with myself that I am dressed as I am writing this (sorry boys). Not only that but it is also mid-afternoon and I am 100% sober AND I have not had any chocolate today. I am sat eating a chunk of Christmas ham but in my defence, I cooked it and it is delicious!
Cooked like Nigella only without the heaving bosom and inappropriate licking of spoons.
In case you have been wondering where I have been hiding for the past week or so, I have managed to divide my time equally between the pub, the fridge and my bed so if you haven’t been in any of those places then chances are we have not crossed Christmassy paths.
Believe me – if someone had been in my fridge you guys would be the first to know!
Please accept my most sincere and humble apologies for the lateness of this post. Yes, I know I should have done it on Friday and I’m sorry that the anticlimax ruined your weekend. I will strive from this point onwards to rebuild your faith in me and know that I am deeply sorry for the pain I have caused you.
Okay – let’s move on.
This is a post I wrote as a submission for a book called People I want To Punch In the Throat. It didn’t quite make the cut. In hindsight this was probably because the brief asked for advice letters to your children as they leave home and, as we already know, the closest thing I have to a child is my Apple Mac, and I’ve just moved back home.
I should not be giving advice to anyone. Ever.
I never used it in the first place!
This is a letter I wrote to my 18 year old self giving myself advice about uni and what life had in store. It’s definitely is as narcissistic as it sounds but you can cope.
Anyway, seen as it isn’t going to make it to something people actually buy, I figured I’d unleash it on you lovely folk for free. No need to thank me. Your tears of despair are enough.
Also if you went to school or uni with me you may be in this.