If I Could Turn Back Time…

This is a post I wrote as a submission for a book called People I want To Punch In the Throat.  It didn’t quite make the cut.  In hindsight this was probably because the brief asked for advice letters to your children as they leave home and, as we already know, the closest thing I have to a child is my Apple Mac, and I’ve just moved back home.

I should not be giving advice to anyone. Ever.

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I never used it in the first place!

 

This is a letter I wrote to my 18 year old self giving myself advice about uni and what life had in store.  It’s definitely is as narcissistic as it sounds but you can cope.

Anyway, seen as it isn’t going to make it to something people actually buy, I figured I’d unleash it on you lovely folk for free.  No need to thank me.  Your tears of despair are enough.

Also if you went to school or uni with me you may be in this.

Sorry.

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You had me at Lipo

I told you at the start of all this blog malarkey that I didn’t want to be Bridget Jones. This is still true.

Nobody WANTS to be Bridget Jones.

I also don’t WANT to be a “smidge” overweight, have incredibly poor eyesight and Richmond Sausages for fingers but whaddayagonnado?

When I look in the mirror, where once there stood a pimply teenager full of hopes and dreams, now there stares back a woman-child that looks a little deader behind the eyes and squishier round the waist.  Still pimply though so I’ve not totally changed.  *air high-5!*

According to recent papers the only single woman over the age of 27 who doesn’t look just a teensy bit like Bridget Jones is Renee Zellweger.  Oh the irony!

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Don’t Call Me Bridget

Hi there!

The lovely people at www.12most.com have decided to print my little article.

Head on over and have a look! http://12most.com/2014/10/07/12-irritating-single-person/

I’ll reblog in full here in a few days.

General gist is – Don’t Call Me Bridget Jones!!

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Ok this is me I know it. You know it. let’s just not talk about it.

(Oh and the picture is 2 years old but I haven’t been able to take a decent one since.)

Enjoy! Soph x

In my defence, I was really really…sober

Dear Reader,

Please accept my sincerest apollos for the lack of post last week. To the 7 people that asked me where my blog was – I am very sorry. To make it up to you here is a name check:

Carly Harwick, Sarah Jones, Vic Higgins, Francesca Powell, Ayse Ince, Lauren Tully and Claire White – you are all ace! The rest of you, I can only assume your handwritten letters of support are in the post… Continue reading

Are you there Troll? It’s me, Sophie

Previously on “Sophie, She Wrote”…

…I had what I thought was quite an amusing email correspondence with a certain supermarket.

One guy wasn’t very happy about it.

This is his story. Continue reading