Shut up Soph!

Evening! Sorry I apologise for my freshness.  I’ve not been in work today.

Oy! stop pelting fruit at me, its not my fault!

No, my Sibling who I personally think is the best Sibling ever, bought me tickets to see The Lion King at the Palace last night.   I had the foresight to book the day off.

Thanks! I know I’m a genius.

Hang on – MENSA is on the phone.

“hmmm…yeah…oh, I see….sorry….”

Ok, I’m not a “genius” but screw it Im not the one who has been in work today – you are!

Me after my experiment with heated rollers

Me after my experiment with heated rollers

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If I Could Turn Back Time…

This is a post I wrote as a submission for a book called People I want To Punch In the Throat.  It didn’t quite make the cut.  In hindsight this was probably because the brief asked for advice letters to your children as they leave home and, as we already know, the closest thing I have to a child is my Apple Mac, and I’ve just moved back home.

I should not be giving advice to anyone. Ever.

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I never used it in the first place!

 

This is a letter I wrote to my 18 year old self giving myself advice about uni and what life had in store.  It’s definitely is as narcissistic as it sounds but you can cope.

Anyway, seen as it isn’t going to make it to something people actually buy, I figured I’d unleash it on you lovely folk for free.  No need to thank me.  Your tears of despair are enough.

Also if you went to school or uni with me you may be in this.

Sorry.

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“That Cheese is Too Strong For A Lady”

I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman. But I have the heart and stomach of a concrete elephant.

“I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman. But I have the heart and stomach of a concrete elephant.” (Queenie, Blackadder II)

We meet again Dear Reader!

Frankly I’m surprised you haven’t unfollowed, defriended or indeed defenestrated me yet (google it) after all the begging for votes I’ve been doing recently.

I am super sorry about that but I have become quite desperate (no jokes please).  You see, I would very much like to win something in 2015, I think it may be my year.  Well that and my Slimmer of the Year 2014 campaign isn’t going according to plan.

*reaches for donut*

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Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world

I had to walk into yours.

Sorry about that.

Typical barman after I've been in.

Typical barman after I’ve been in.

This is the completely opposite post to my declaration of sobriety last week. Turns out, I may be able to survive without meat and carbs but Sophie Anna Fox aged 28 and ¾ really struggles to exist without wine.

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Noodle-gate Part 2 – The Results!

Do you ever do something just for the hell of it and because you think maybe, possibly, someone, somewhere will find it funny?

And then they don’t.

This is what I panicked about after sending my complaint to Waitrose.  Oh God, what if they think I am a moron?  What if I don’t even get a response? What if they tell Delia Smith and I am banned for life from every Waitrose ever? Continue reading

Noodle-gate: Sophie -v- Waitrose [2014]

I have recently had cause to complain to Waitrose. This is the content of my letter.  Worth reading if for nothing else but the link to the upcoming Chuckle Brothers tour and the classic noodle joke at the end!

I sent it by email and by post and will let you know if/when I hear back.

Enjoy!

 

Soph x

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This kid gets it.

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