Hi there its Sophie Fox, Marathon Runner here.
Yes I know – I am very annoying but ‘tis true, I ran a marathon! I finished in 4 hours 42 minutes and 8 seconds (the seconds are very important apparently). The more I think about it the more frustrating it is that I didn’t manage it in less than 4 hours 30 but just typing that sentence makes me hate myself a little bit. Continue reading
Hi there stranger!
Yes I’m starting another post with another apology but sod it , we both know you’re going to carry on reading so let’s just bypass the fact I haven’t written anything since June and move on with our lives.
I can’t decide if that hippo is cute or pervy but either way, I hope you are well.
Now I know it is uncharacteristically sunny for the UK at the moment so I will forgive you if you cant be bothered reading this or you are too distracted by the stench of human sweat on public transport that you will tell me you read it but haven’t. It’s fine. It’s very hot.
Standard public transport this week.
I know you probably don’t care but I am now a fully committed member of Weight Watchers.
Well helloo there Dear Reader!
It has been somewhat of a while (again) since we last spoke. How’ve you been?
Ooh sounds painful.
Me? How nice of you to ask. I’ve been pretty good actually (aside from the obvious insanity of writing an imaginary conversation – see above) Continue reading
Dear loveliest Reader
I come bearing sad news.
I didn’t win at the UK Blog Awards.
I took it quite well though…
Me at UKBA15
Hola Queridio! Apologies to all my Spanish fans (?) for my poor grasp of your beautiful language but no hablo español. Once again, as happens about every 6-8 weeks, I must apologise for the lack of posts recently. In fact it has been two weeks since I last updated you on the car crash that is my life. I have no excuse why I didn’t post on 27th March. I think I was feeling a bit uninspired. I had managed to achieve the incredible feat of blocking myself out of my debit card AND then blocking myself out of the unblocking debit card facility at the cash machine. I also bought a book called How To Get A Grip – if that is any indication of how I was feeling. (A must read btw)
This is the only kind of grip I will ever probably get. Well done to whoever invented this!
INT. A SITTING ROOM, TWO CHILDREN ARE SAT ON THE SOFA LOOKING INCREDIBLY BORED AND RUEING THE DAY THEY WERE BORN. (Much like you are right about now)
I will not continue this in script format mainly because I don’t know how to. I am, however, attending a script writing course tomorrow so you have that to look forward to next week.
All you need to know is that this is a continuation of Episode 1. I have been reading a lot of autobiographies recently (see pictures – links here). They all start with the same few chapters where the comedian/author/Nobel Peace Prize winner is living in some kind of loft struggling to make ends meet. No matter how tough the journey, the reader is safe in the knowledge that it all ends well and the person does achieve something otherwise they wouldn’t have written the book in the first place.
With the confidence and stupidity possessed only by myself and Katie Price, I have decided to write my autobiography before I actually achieve anything in the desperate hope that by the time I write the ending something fabulous will have happened. I only hope it doesn’t involve Celebrity Big Brother, plastic surgery or a bright pink horse trailer but you never know.
Evening! Sorry I apologise for my freshness. I’ve not been in work today.
Oy! stop pelting fruit at me, its not my fault!
No, my Sibling who I personally think is the best Sibling ever, bought me tickets to see The Lion King at the Palace last night. I had the foresight to book the day off.
Thanks! I know I’m a genius.
Hang on – MENSA is on the phone.
“hmmm…yeah…oh, I see….sorry….”
Ok, I’m not a “genius” but screw it Im not the one who has been in work today – you are!
Me after my experiment with heated rollers