Afternoon Dear Reader,
No I haven’t passed out on my keyboard, although that is a distinct possibility seen as I am blimmin knackered. That is the written equivalent of the noise I make when I think about last weekend.
There is is again.
It loosely translates as the word you say when you would happily peel your own skin off it it meant you could go back in time and not do the embarrassing thing that made you go FLARGH in the first place.
How I feel most mornings after a night of wine.
Now you may be surprised to know that there are quite a lot of things I have done that I am particularly embarrassed about. (Alright not that many!). Most of them involve Tina Turner,
alcohol, public places, or a combination of all three.
This time, however, my anxiety relates to the British Adult Ice Skating Championships 2016.
Bonsoir mes Chers Lecteurs! Ca va?
Okay – that is the extent of my written French. I am a fluent speaker, and by fluent I mean some brie and a bottle of vin rouge and I think I am Coco Chanel when I probably sound like the policeman from Allo Allo: Continue reading
Now I know it is uncharacteristically sunny for the UK at the moment so I will forgive you if you cant be bothered reading this or you are too distracted by the stench of human sweat on public transport that you will tell me you read it but haven’t. It’s fine. It’s very hot.
Standard public transport this week.
I know you probably don’t care but I am now a fully committed member of Weight Watchers.
Afternoon lovely person!
I know you are probably on the edge of your seat wanting to know how I got on at the British Ice Skating Championships..
*dramatic music and tension building drum roll
I only came blimmin first!!!!
Me in my office on Monday
Apologies to those of you who are friends with me on Facebook or who work with me, or who have ever met my parents, you probably know all about this by now. But for those very few of you who don’t – no I am not drunk or joking. I actually won!!
Well helloo there Dear Reader!
It has been somewhat of a while (again) since we last spoke. How’ve you been?
Ooh sounds painful.
Me? How nice of you to ask. I’ve been pretty good actually (aside from the obvious insanity of writing an imaginary conversation – see above) Continue reading
Hope you had a truly splendid week. I hate to be one of those people but hasn’t January just flown by!
FYI, as well as people who state the obvious, the list of people I don’t like also includes noisy eaters, sniffers (dear Lord please blow your nose), and thin people. Not for any other reason than the fact that they are thin. Thin people who also eat hamburgers and moan about how they can’t put on wait – you guys are the worst! Continue reading
Happy New Year!!
I know, I know, it is practically February. My sincerest apollos (again) for the lack of post so far this year. I’m not very good at New Year’s Resolutions – clearly.
You have no idea of the strategic placing of friends it took to get this picture!
As much as I tried to muster up some enthusiasm for life last Friday I simply couldn’t. I’m sure you agree Dear Reader, that nothing can smack the Christmassy out of you like the first week back at work after the New Year. Well, that and the vague sensation that you ended up in Chinese Karaoke after the Christmas do. Continue reading